A New Year

Last year was probably the worst year of my life. Emotionally anyway. I am very blessed to have a loving family, supportive friends, a nice house, sweet puppies, and a good job. But this last year was the most challenging one for me mentally.

My husband had been gone for 5 months now and I still don't know what I want to do. A lot has happened between Jon and I but I still don't know if I want to work things out or call it quits. I don't know how to make a decision that big. There are so many factors to consider and the more I think about everything, the less I know what to do. On one hand, we have over a decade worth of history and he is my best friend in the world. We understand each other in ways that nobody else does. We have ridiculous amounts of fun together and he made me very happy. But on the other hand, we now have trust issues, family issues and other problems. How do you decide which is more important? How do you trust yourself to make that decision when your heart and your head are constantly at war with each other? This is my current dilemma. But I've decided to make a decision soon and stick with it. I can't keep living my life in limbo. I feel like I am holding myself back from living since I don't know where I stand in the biggest part of my life.

So that brings me to my resolutions for this year. I hate resolutions as I feel like they are just a way to set yourself up for failure, but I do like the idea of always working toward goals and trying to better ones life. So these are some of my goals for the year:

Figure out what I really want concerning my marriage and make it happen.

Read more often. I have a habit of buying books I hope to read but more often than not I don't end up with time or motivation to read them. I want to work my way through all the books I have lying around.

I want to find time for a hobby. I want something that I do to be just for me. I need something to do that I can be excited about and that gives me some satisfaction from doing.

I want to get out of debt. That will take more than a year to do, especially living alone, but I want to have more financial freedom and more money in savings so I need to get rid of my debts so I can do that.

Mostly, I want to find happiness in every day and live life more fully.

Happy New Year friends! Here's wishing you all the best!